Fuck me til I’m dripping on the floor.

(via precious-her)


These photos are taken by Courtney Trouble. 

I’m gonna get mushy for a minute.

I first found out about Courtney via NoFauxxx. I was maybe 19, and bored with what I found on the internet. Then I discovered NoFauxxx, a space for queer folks to post photos, like SuicideGirls but actually inclusive. I was far too intimidated to submit, but I rolled the idea around in my head, dismissing it the way the culture dismissed my body and my identity. I worried that “diversity” didn’t mean bodies like mine, so often deemed “bad fat” (including by “BBW” porn companies). 

Now here I am ten years later, working as an assistant pornographer for TROUBLEfilms. I’m learning how to edit, how to shoot porn, how to troubleshoot a website. I’m getting paid a decent wage for it, and I get to work from home, naked, a good portion of the time. I get to be on set, making sure performers are taken care of, that the paperwork gets done and checks are made out to the right folks. I make sure everyone’s fed and that consent is paramount.

I also get to be in front of the camera, and I’ll be thrilled to have been a part of all four Lesbian Curves films. Next year, I even plan to have a go at making my own DVD, with Courtney’s support and my freshly learned skills. Just looking at these sets, I can see how much I’ve changed as a model and a performer- I used to be so closed off, working with cis straight men who were often creepy and felt they were entitled to my body for the little money they (sometimes) paid. In these shots, I’m open, not hiding my rolls or stretchmarks, but celebrating them. I’m not paid less for my body, or expected to do more dangerous things.

That should be the expectation, but in my experience, that respect for the value of my work and body is vital, and yet rare. 

I thought I’d have to be slender, straight-passing, in my early 20s, and accommodating to the male gaze in order to succeed in porn, even indie porn, who felt I wasn’t “marketable”. Yet here I am, fat, queer, loud, and unabashedly myself. I’m fucking delighted that I am embraced, as I am, and that my own growing confidence inspires others. Guess what? I am valuable, sexy, desired. And yes, marketable. 

Courtney saw in me something I didn’t realize I had, and they showed it to me through their lens, changing my life.

Now I have another option in the adult industry. GodsGirls has me in their purgatory section right now, with Courtney’s encouragement, and I’m hoping I get voted in by their members so I can add to the representation of fat queer femmes on the site. If you’re a member, maybe you can vote for me? If not and you’d like to join to support me, Chelsea Poe, and other models who are seeking to expand the porn industry’s gaze, then here’s a discount link.

Otherwise, please reblog as a way of showing your support- of me, and of a new era of porn. <3



blushing over chelseapoe's sweet words in her Fleshbot feature!

Courtney Trouble is one of my biggest influences who just so happened to become one of my best friends and my porn mentor. They really believed in me and has such a in depth knowledge of porn but still has a very DIY ethic to their work which I really connected to. The greatest thing about working with Courtney is they literally have some of the best ideas when it comes to film making and performing that most directors wouldn’t dare to try.”

Seriously though Courtney Trouble is a modern porn genius. Seriously if you never saw Roulette: Toronto stop what you are doing right now and buy it (after buying a copy of fucking mystic www.realqueerporn.com/fucking-mystic-download) because it is seriously the hottest queerest porn I have ever saw. 


my fuck buddy and I after a haunt convention


This felt even better than I thought it would. Each pinch was like a bolt of pleasure. And the smell of my pussy was driving me wild and making me whimper a little as I pulled on each clothespin. Thank you for the request, I hope it pleases you like it pleased me ;)

(via noneedforpenetration)